The word count is in parenthesis after each response.  The e-rater score is listed after that.

 

While you’re correct, we need better schools.  Children need technology, but the countryside lacks it. Although the government funds academics in cities, they neglect rural areas.  Consequently, parents leave. (29) = 2.0

 

While I appreciate your suggestions, we need better schools.  Children need excellent facilities, but the countryside lacks them. Although the government funds academics in cities, they neglect rural areas.  Consequently, parents leave. (32) = 3.0

 

While I appreciate your suggestions, we need better schools.  Children need excellent facilities, but there aren’t any in the countryside. Although the government funds academic amenities in cities, they neglect rural areas.  Consequently, parents move elsewhere. (36) = 3.0

 

While I appreciate your ideas, we really need better schools.  Children need to utilize excellent facilities, but it’s impossible to find them in the countryside. Although the government currently funds academic amenities in cities, they neglect rural areas.  Consequently, parents move elsewhere. (42) = 3.0

 

While I appreciate your ideas, I think we need better schools.  Parents want their children to utilize excellent facilities, but it’s impossible to find impressive schools in the countryside. Although the government currently funds amenities like libraries in cities, they neglect rural areas.  Consequently, parents head for greener pastures. (49) = 4.0

 

While I appreciate your ideas, I feel that we need better schools.  Parents want their children to be educated at excellent facilities, but it’s impossible to find impressive schools in the countryside. Although the government currently funds amenities like lavish libraries in cities, they neglect rural areas.  Consequently, parents head for greener pastures. (53) = 4.0

 

While I appreciate what Claire and Kelly suggested, I feel that we ought to construct better schools.  Parents want their children to be educated at excellent facilities, but it’s impossible to find impressive schools in the countryside. Although the government currently provides funding for amenities like lavish libraries in cities, they neglect rural areas.  Consequently, parents head for greener pastures. (60) = 4.0

 

While I appreciate the solutions presented by Claire and Kelly, I feel that the government ought to construct better schools.  Parents want their children to be educated at excellent facilities, but it is impossible to find impressive schools in the countryside. Although the government currently provides funding for amenities like science laboratories and lavish libraries in cities, they neglect rural areas.  Consequently, parents head for greener pastures, so to speak. (70) = 4.0

 

While I appreciate the solutions presented by Claire and Kelly, I feel that the only way to truly solve this problem is to construct better schools.  Parents want their children to be educated at the best possible facilities, but it is almost impossible to find impressive schools in the countryside. Although the government currently provides funding for amenities like science laboratories and lavish libraries in cities, they neglect rural areas.  Consequently, parents head for greener pastures, so to speak. (79) = 4.0

 

While I appreciate the solutions presented by Claire and Kelly, I feel that the only way to truly solve this problem is to construct better schools.  Parents want their children to be educated at the best possible facilities, but it is almost impossible to find impressive schools in the countryside. Although the government currently provides funding for amenities like science laboratories and lavish libraries in cities, they neglect rural areas. Rural schools, like the one I attended, lack even basic educational supplies like computers and sports equipment.  Consequently, parents who are concerned about their kids head for greener pastures, so to speak. (102) = 5.0